Mission: Install Konoha's First Laptop
by wolf08
Summary: Technology has entered the ninja world. Join Team 7 on a new life-changing and seemingly impossible mission: the installation of Naruto's laptop – the first computer in Konoha. Arguments, punches and sexual references are exchanged and poor Sakura is driven insane. Calling this a challenge would be an understatement. Context: Just before 700. Rated T for language and sexual themes.


**Mission: Install Konoha's First Laptop**

**Summary: **Technology has entered the ninja world. Join Team 7 on a new life-changing and seemingly impossible mission: the installation of Naruto's laptop – the first computer in Konoha. Calling this a challenge would be an understatement. Context: Just before chapter 700 (Naruto is Hokage, everyone is married and has kids). Rated T for language and sexual themes.

**Genre: **Humour

**A / N: I wrote this story for a Tumblr prompt about Sakura's temper and I loved it so much that I wanted to post it here on my FanFiction account. **

**Disclaimer**: All characters belong to the great Masashi Kishimoto

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**Mission: Install Konoha's First Laptop**

Technology entered the lives of Konoha residents at a slow and steady pace. The first digital machines were integrated into the field of medicine where they were of highest demand. The use of chakra was still heavily endorsed for its non-invasive properties (like surgeries with no cuts), but Konoha's medical ninjas were fascinated by the revolutionary powers of visual screening devices like fMRI machines and X-Rays.

I mean, other than the few medical ninjas blessed with Byakugan, these devices totally changed how health care workers saw the human body. Literally.

It didn't take long for Konoha's hospital to transform into the most sophisticated of all care facilities across the Five Nations. And in the height of all the fame his village's hospital was getting, Konoha's new Hokage, a young and energetic risk-taker, requested a few new devices for himself. If they were even half as successful as the technologies in the hospital, his work would be so much more efficient.

And Naruto was willing to try just about anything to get all his damn paperwork done faster.

He received the package with his first piece of technology soon afterwards, and he could hardly contain his excitement. A "laptop," it was called, and based on the paper insert accompanying the package, it sounded like it had both communication and data input functionalities that would make his work so much easier.

Practically bubbling over with excitement, he told all his friends about his new toy before he even opened the package. In all honesty, he was a little afraid to open it up. He was a pretty big klutz after all, and knowing his luck, he'd find a way to snap the laptop in half.

So he summoned the two most intelligent ninjas he knew to his office the following day, in hope that they could assemble the laptop for him.

"What a pain…," said Shikamaru, Naruto's right hand man and arguably the most intelligent ninja in the entire village.

"Shut up and focus," snapped the pink haired woman to his right. Sakura Haruno, the head medic herself, was also summoned to help Naruto install the computer. She had plenty of experience working with technology due to the nature of her prominent role in the medical profession.

So she was an excellent choice to help with such a task.

But the only problem was, she was in a bad mood today.

"The sooner we set this thing up, the sooner I can get back to work," she huffed, folding her arms across her chest. It was a particularly busy day at the hospital. A team of 10 ninjas returned from a perilous mission, all with critical injuries that needed mending.

"Well Sakura-chan, that's why I summoned you guys. You're both geniuses and will have this thing set up in no time!" Naruto said with a thumbs-up and goofy smile in attempt to cheer up his best friend. It didn't seem to work.

"Alright, hand over the instruction manual," she said while briskly striding over to the unopened package on the Hokage's desk. Shikamaru side-stepped out of her way. He knew better than to cross the path of a moody woman.

That's when the door of the Hokage's office burst open. "Shikamaru!" called a voice.

All eyes turned to the doorway where an exasperated Shizune was catching her breath. "Shikamaru," she repeated while regaining her composure. "Your wife returned from Suna."

_Speaking of moody women_… he thought, but Shikamaru couldn't hide the smile tugging at his lips. It was nice to hear Temari got home safely. "Well I guess I'd better go see her then," he said while spinning on the ball of his foot. "Later guys!" he added over his shoulder before disappearing from sight.

"W-What? Hey!" Naruto spluttered before pouting at Shizune. "Now who's going to help Sakura-chan set up my computer?"

Shizune opened her mouth to answer, but Sakura interrupted. "I don't have _time_ to figure this out alone," she said sharply. "Since Temari's team has returned, it sounds like I have double the work waiting for be back at the hospital now. They all need post-mission checkups."

"I know," Shizune said, bowing apologetically. "That's why I found replacements."

"Replacements…?" Sakura began, but the word had hardly escaped her lips when two new figures appeared in the doorway. Her heart sank instantly.

"Hello Ugly and Dickless."

"Hn."

"Well, if it isn't my two favourite assholes!" Naruto exclaimed, bounding over to the newcomers.

"_What_ are you doing here?" Sakura fumed from where she stood by the unopened laptop. She didn't care if they were the most attractive men in Konoha. She deliberately graced Sai and Sasuke with one of her signature death glares.

Sai, who was totally unfazed by her anger (he was used to it), smiled and said, "Well I did some research on computers last night, and I must admit that they intrigue me." He pulled out a notepad from his pocket and flipped it open to read his notes. "A programmable tool… performs prescribed logical operations at high speeds…" He glanced up at the others. "I think I will be able to relate to it."

"Well you are a tool," said Sasuke with a shrug. Naruto burst into laughter, but Sakura started massaging her temples.

"And _you_?" she snarled at her husband. While they were getting their daughter off to the academy that morning, Sasuke wouldn't stop going on about how useless the laptop would be, and that there was nothing it could do that Konoha's traditional systems couldn't.

"I finished the kitchen renovations so I figured I'd tag along and prove you wrong," Sasuke said nonchalantly, but he failed to hide his smirk.

Sakura rolled her eyes and exhaled heavily. Great. This was just _brilliant_. Her team of helpers didn't know the slightest thing about technology and she was starting to wonder whether she'd even make it back to work at _all_.

"Okay, let's get this over with now," she ordered while aggressively tearing open the package. "I'd like to be back at the hospital in thirty min-"

"Wait, don't hurt her!" Naruto cried, racing back over to his desk and prying the package out of Sakura's reach.

"_Her_?"

"Yes, _her_," he answered with a pout. "I don't have a name for my laptop yet, but I am going to take very good care of –"

"Alright, alright. I get it," Sakura snapped, and glancing over at the other two for support. But Sai was scribbling something down in his notebook and Sasuke was gazing out the window. "I could use some help here, guys," she said, glowering at them.

"Sure!" Sai answered cheerily and joining them around the package. He reached out his hand to the box and started stroking it. "Maybe this will keep her calm while we undress her?" he asked Naruto seriously.

Sakura clenched her fists and reminded herself that it would be very unprofessional of her to punch anything in the Hokage's office.

Sasuke, who seemed to sense his wife's boiling fury, said, "Don't worry, you'll make it back to work. We just need to find some instructions on how to put it together."

"_Thank _you," Sakura answered with a sigh. At least one of her assistants had half a brain.

Sasuke shoved Naruto away from the box and pried it open to reveal the styrofoam and plastic protective coverings. He found the instruction book tucked into the side of the box and pulled it out to scan it. "Ah," Sasuke said, his eyebrows furrowing. "It's in the wrong language. Looks like you aren't getting a laptop after all." He tossed the instructions to Sai and motioned to leave.

But Naruto grabbed a fistful of Sasuke's black cloak and dragged him back to the desk. "Oh well, who needs instructions anyways?" he said with a mischievous laugh. "We can figure it out ourselves, right guys?"

"_No_," Sakura deadpanned. "And Sai, try turning the booklet to the next page."

He did as he was told. "Oh, you're right Sakura! The second page is in Japanese." He paused and continued to flip through the book. "Oh my, the instructions are written in several languages. I didn't know you needed to be multi-lingual to install a computer. This will be challenging,"

Sasuke nodded at his side. "He has a point. Let's call it quits."

Sakura snatched for the book but Sai held it just out of reach. "Hold on Ugly! I've studied different languages and I may be able to figure this out."

"Hey, don't call Sakura-chan ugly!" Naruto yelled, suddenly rounding on his teammate with his fists flailing, but Sasuke was too fast, and his punch to Sai's gut sent him flying into Naruto's bookshelf. The entire shelf collapsed to the ground with a crash, sending books flying in all directions.

"Nice one, bastard!" Naruto said while bumping fists with the Uchiha.

"Lesson learned," Sai mumbled, emerging from the pile of books and wiping dust off his face. "Don't call a lady ugly in the presence of her best friend or her spouse."

"Guys, can we _please_ get back to the laptop?" Sakura pleaded, attempting to steer things back on track.

"Yes, ma'am!" said Naruto, forming a salute with his hand. He seemed unfazed by the enormous mess in his office. "Let's get this done!"

"And I'm with Naruto. I'm not trying to figure out instructions in multiple languages, so let's just try to figure it out without them," added Sasuke, who joined them at the desk.

Sakura pierced her lips and took a deep breath. "No, we only need to read the - … Naruto what are you doing?"

Said blonde was loudly crunching the contents of a package of uncooked instant noodles. He stared up at her. "What? All of this computer-installing is making me hungry."

"I'm a bit hungry too," Sai added from where he was by the collapsed bookshelf.

"We could take a lunch break," Sasuke chimed in with a shrug. "We'll be more productive after-"

_WHAM. _

Sakura slammed her hand down onto the desk so forcefully that all three boys jumped. "I need you all to _focus_," she snarled, and staring them down with her ice-cold emerald eyes. "We are getting this done _now_. Sai!" He jumped to his feet and scurried over to the desk at the sound of his name. "Hand me the instruction book."

"I would love to Sakura, but I must insist that I do the reading. I'm afraid that you won't understand the book," he said with a polite smile.

"_What?"_ Sakura snapped.

Sai took that as his cue to elaborate. "Well I'm the only one here who can read multiple languages, so I will do the reading."

"Hand. Me. The. _Book_," Sakura growled through gritted teeth.

"Sakura, I must insist that I-"

"Just give it to her," Sasuke said sharply and glaring at his look-alike.

Sai directed his smiling face at the Uchiha. "Relax, Traitor," he said calmly. "I'm only trying to be practical."

But Sasuke's eyes were now blazing red, and his Sharingan spun to life. "What did you call me?" he asked slowly and menacingly.

"Trait-"

"STOP!" Sakura yelled, but no one seemed to hear her. She glanced desperately at the Hokage for support, but he was eased back in his chair with his feet propped up on the desk while contently crunching on his uncooked noodles.

"Oh!" Sai cried out unexpectedly. "I caught a glimpse of some of these instructions. It's explaining how to turn her on. Your laptop, I mean."

"What do you mean by that?" Naruto asked, rising to his feet with bulging eyes.

Sai flipped the page, but immediately averted his gaze. "There is a diagram. I feel like I shouldn't be looking at this. It appears to be a little intimate."

"Sai, it's not like _that_," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. But he joined him and had a look at the page.

Sakura opened her mouth to protest, but Naruto covered it with his hand and curiously peered at the book too.

Sai's eyebrows furrowed while he analyzed the diagram. "Well it sounds like we have to take a cord and insert it into the hole here…" He pointed to the hole the instructions were indicating. "And then, you touch this circle here… and she'll fire up and get turned on." He lowered the book. "Now I don't know about you guys, but it takes way more than that for me to turn on my wife," he said seriously.

Sakura gaped at him. What. The. _Hell. _

"Gosh, well at least she sounds easy to figure out," Naruto added, nodding vigorously. "At least she's _guaranteed_ to be turned on once you put it in."

Sasuke sighed. "Well of course it's easy. It's a machine."

"I'll say," said Sai. "Ino definitely prefers when we engage in foreplay prior to intercourse. It puts her in 'the mood,' or so they call it."

Sakura pried Naruto's hand away from her mouth. "Sai!" she snapped. "I don't need to hear about my best friend's sex life, thank you very much!"

"This has _nothing_ to do with sex, or foreplay, or whatever," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes with annoyance. "So let's drop the subject _now._"

"You seem uncomfortable, Sasuke," Sai remarked, and turning to face the Uchiha. "If you are more open about sexuality, your sex life will be much better. I'm sure Ugly will thank m-"

_POW. CRASH._

This time, Sakura beat Sasuke to punching Sai in the gut, and sent him crashing straight through the window of Naruto's office and out of sight.

"Get out."

Sasuke and Naruto felt a terrible chill crawl up their spines. They both hesitantly glanced up at their pink-haired teammate who was practically shaking with fury.

"I-," Naruto started, but she raised her gloved hand to silence him.

"_NOW."_

"Let's go," Sasuke said quickly, before making a break for it.

"You don't have to tell me twice!" answered the blonde, who sprinted out of his own office and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Sakura got home very late.

It had taken her two hours to set up Naruto's laptop once the boys were out of her hair, and she'd been held up at the hospital attending to the ninjas in need of post-mission checkups. Several of the wounds were so critical that her subordinates weren't capable of tending to them without her.

But despite the day's events, Sakura had to admit: she was amazed at how well she was controlling her temper. Besides a couple of Sai's ribs, she hadn't broken anything all day.

"Welcome home, Mom!" called Sarada from where she was perched on the living room couch reading a book.

Sasuke, who was sitting next to her reading his own book, glanced up at his wife hesitantly. "Hey. Food's in the fridge," he said. He seemed a little weary because he knew Sakura could be a little unpredictable when she was in a bad mood. And after today, he was a little afraid to find out how her temper would manifest itself.

"Thanks," she said while dropping her bags and entering the kitchen across the hallway.

Sakura was just heating up her dinner when Sarada entered the kitchen. "Mama, can I tell you a secret?" she asked with a devilish smirk while pushing her red-rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose.

Sakura turned around and smiled at her daughter. "Of course you can, Sarada."

The young girl reached into the handbag she was carrying and pulled out a device about the size of a book. It looked like half a laptop; a screen without a keyboard.

"What's that?" Sakura asked. Despite all the frustration Naruto's new device had caused her all day, her curiosity still got the better of her.

"It's called a tablet!" Sarada said excitedly, her eyes sparkling. "Uncle Naruto ordered three of them in secret for me, Boruto and Inojin." She pressed a button on the front of the device and it came to life. "See? It's just like a computer!" she said with a huge grin.

Sakura stared in fascination as her daughter navigated through the device's features and applications. "It _is _just like a computer," Sakura said thoughtfully. It seemed quite portable too, and Sakura realized that the data-sharing potential a device like this could have at Konoha's hospital was enormous.

But the only problem was, like a computer, hardly anyone in the village would know how to work it. "So how did you and your friends manage to set up the tablets?" Sakura asked.

Sarada beamed at her mother. "Piece of cake! We got our dads to do it for us. Papa had mine set up in five minutes, so I've been messaging Inojin and Boruto with it all afternoon!" Then she glanced up, as if she suddenly remembered something. "Dad!" she called abruptly before skipping back into the sitting room. "How do I take a picture with it again?"

Sakura, on the other hand, wasn't quite sharing her daughter's excitement anymore.

"Naruto, Sai and your papa… set it up… in _five minutes_…" she said quietly through gritted teeth. "_What… the… hell…_"

Sakura had been keeping her infamous temper in check for most of the day. And she really did try.

But she was past her tipping point now.

Sasuke's new kitchen renovations didn't stand a chance.

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**A/N: Wow, that was my first time ever writing about them all as adults! ****I must say I thoroughly enjoyed writing that, and I hope you liked reading it too! I would love to hear what you think, so please leave a review! :) **

**If you liked how I write comedic one-shots, I posted another one a couple of days ago called "A Little Misfortune" that you may enjoy too.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading! **


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